smokey

Just met a girl. Omg she was so fine. Handsome even. Never will I meet a girl like her again. Caring. Emotional. Nice. And her name was the first letter of each sentence.

Hi, I'm shmoo

A pet rock is a fun pet until you realize that it's essentially immortal and you've damned it to an eternity of watching its loved ones die

The year is 2540, a student in history class notices something off about his textbook. “How come these textbooks skip the years 1990 through 1999?” The teacher puts his air-marker down on the table, lowers his head, and sighs. “Because…” he lifts his head, a single tear rolls down his cheek, “… only 90’s kids remember the 90’s”

[1 in 4 car accidents are caused by texting and driving] People: "Won't be me." [1 in 292 million chance of winning the Powerball] People: "You never know."

Lost my watch at a party once. Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl... Not on my watch.

Terbs is love, Terbs is life.

....

I need food

-Curry- haz sweg

Faded AF spelt backwards is FAded aF

I have this radical belief that decisions that affect everyone in the world shouldn't be made in secret by government bureaucrats and corporate lobbyists.

You're all babes

Sup

Planetary collision, inner vision apocalypse Demonology monetary toppled metropolis Inequality, military coddle the populace Mephistopholese, headed full throttle for opulence