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Posts
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Status Updates posted by smokey
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4 years later...
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#HomelessLyfe4Lyfe
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hi im new
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if this status gets 50 comments, without spamming, I'll attempt to chop my 32" flat screen in half and record it
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Drugs and alcohol are never the answer. Unless the question is "what are you doing this weekend"
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What should I cook for dinner tonight?
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Type "loser.com" into your browser. you'll thank me later
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anyone want some milk? http://m.imgur.com/9ESWTYl
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One time my mom called me a "son of a b*tch", so I hit her because no one talks trash about my mom, then I hit myself because no one hits my mom, she then hit me because no one hits her son and then hit herself because no one hits me, so I hit her because no one hits my mom.
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Barber: come over my parents aren't home Me: wrong joke format Bae: say no more Vegan: im a vegan Me: im confused Dad: hi confused, im dad
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Just met a girl. Omg she was so fine. Handsome even. Never will I meet a girl like her again. Caring. Emotional. Nice. And her name was the first letter of each sentence.
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A pet rock is a fun pet until you realize that it's essentially immortal and you've damned it to an eternity of watching its loved ones die
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The year is 2540, a student in history class notices something off about his textbook. “How come these textbooks skip the years 1990 through 1999?” The teacher puts his air-marker down on the table, lowers his head, and sighs. “Because…” he lifts his head, a single tear rolls down his cheek, “… only 90’s kids remember the 90’s”
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[1 in 4 car accidents are caused by texting and driving] People: "Won't be me." [1 in 292 million chance of winning the Powerball] People: "You never know."