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hella666

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  • iDevice
    iPhone 8 Plus

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  1. This is wonderful! Thank you so much. Works like a charm
  2. Netflix is finally available in my country so that'd be pretty sick. It's cool if you gave them all out though, nice that you're doing this
  3. Let me try this. Thank you
  4. Make an appropriate request with all the details @@aristonation
  5. @thejordan1221 FBI U r under arest put your hands up in the air and grab your hair on your scalp oh nvm.. i guess im abit late .. also tht was a joke:( where am i supposed to get the snake oils now I'm gonna get u outta there man dn't worry Sending you my piggy bank rn. there should be bout 5 $+. Yw dude
  6. "Life is live your dream, and share short. Your passion" I second that so inspirational
  7. replace money with the strength of banging your head into a wall so people who would survive head traumas would be millionaires and people who didn't bang their heads hard enough would be poor cause they're weak :) :) :) :) :)
  8. I have some wonderful news for you dude,two men can get married too! :) :) :) :)
  9. replace money with post count
  10. "She beat the record of climbing Mount Everest last month eight hours 3 minutes and 49 seconds" I mean know this is fiction, but that's a bit too much (as in probably physically impossible which so are the zombies,but for it to be scary it also needs to at least remind of reality imo). I highly recommend changing this part a bit "Passing miller street my speed 30 miles per hour, after a few blocks, the speed 40 miles per hour, and going up the highway my speed was 60 miles per. Even though I was about top speed, my conscience told me to go faster. When I reached my destination I went 120 miles per hour, passed 18 red light and 5 stops signs." unnecessary, too much detail. Try to mention things like this ( "30 miles; an hour and 28 minutes; 19 cars") as little as you can if they don't play a big role in the story/are not that important also try not to be repetitive. It's hard to understand where is a conversation happening so you could just use quotes or such to mark where is starts and stops,. Also THIS: "I ate my puke and ran back the way I came." What.. did you just.. do? Please fix that hahah "Bam! Bam! Ruuugh!" unnecessary Grammar mistakes & incorrect tenses in some places. [You don't have to change anything if you don't want to that's just how I personally would see it as huge improvement] The story itself is quite scary and I didn't read it fully cause I don't enjoy that type of stuff, but you managed to make it disturbing and that's a really important part in making horror type of stuff, so - great job! hahah
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