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This one's a classic: There are two hunters in the forest. One of them collapses, evidently having some kind of medical problem; he isn't breathing. The second hunter calls 911. "My friend is dying and we're in the woods!" he asks frantically. "What do I do?" The operator says, "First, you need to make sure he really is dead—" There's a silence, then the sound of a gunshot rings out. "Okay, he's dead. Now what?" ?? A biker walks into a bar and sits down on a bar stool near the end of the bar. He takes a look at the menu and it reads as follows: Hamburger - 2.99 Cheeseburger - 3.99 Chicken Sandwich - 4.99 Hand Jobs - 19.99 The crusty old biker waves the bartender down, and up walks this tall, busty, beautiful redhead in her mid-twenties. She smiles at the biker coyly, and he asks in a quiet voice "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" The bartender blushes slightly and says "Yes, I am" with a sexy little smile. The biker grins and says "Well wash your hands, because I want a cheeseburger."

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