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This is my version of the longest joke in the world.

Once upon a time, there was a lost man in the desert who struggled to find food and water. He’s been walking in the desert trying to find the city for days. One day, on the brink of death, he stumbled across an area that was covered with black stone. He wondered what was it? There was a sign in the middle of the black stone with a large snake curled up in it. The snake spoke to the man, “Hello, my name is Nate. What do you wish for?” The man quickly replied “I need food and water.” In an instant, the man’s thirst and hunger quenched. “How did you do that?” The man asked Nate. “I made your body’s hunger and thirst system more efficient. You won’t have to eat in another 69 years.” Nate answered. The man thought that was impossible. He decided it would be easier to find out where he is. “Where am I and what are you doing here? The man questioned. “You are in the Garden of Eden, I am here to finish my duty. Would you like another wish?” Nate replied. “What’s your duty?”

“My duty is to protect this lever. If someone pulls it, the world will explode.”

“How many wishes can I get?”

”You get 2; the first is free, the second, you must kill me.” The man didn’t understand. He asked where the city was and said he’ll come back later. The day came and he was driving back with an RV. The Garden of Eden was just below the hill he was driving in. Suddenly, the tires started to lose grip and slid down the hill. Nate was standing on the right while the lever was on the left. The man had to choose to either run over Nate, or run over the lever which will destroy the world. In panic, the man yelled out “BETTER LEVER THAN NATE” and ran over the lever, this exploding the world and him.

 

(If you don’t get the reference in the punchline, it’s supposed to be better late than never and in the original story it was better Nate than lever, but I changed it up in this story.)

 

Good luck!

 

 

  • Like 1

Once upon a time, in the magical fantasy kingdom, there lived a young monk named Sam.

His order was renowned for their beautiful choral singing. They trained, hours every day, refining their voices and their art. Their song floated down the mountainside, enriching the lives and souls of the townspeople below.

Sam was particularly gifted, and on his 19th birthday, in mid-song, he hit upon a beautifully intricate note of pure magic. Everyone within miles just froze in mid action, stirred to the very core of their souls by the pure bliss of the tone. And all the realm realized, instantly, that it was Sam, and Sam was the first person in history to hit one of the rumored Magical Notes that musicians had theorized must exist... yet no one before Sam had ever reached one.

And on Sam's 20th birthday, it happened again. This time, the town below was so impacted that no one moved, spoke, or even blinked for several minutes after. As the golden sound finally tapered off and ceased, they knew that Sam had found the Second Note...

And the next year on Sam's birthday, the town had realized there was a pattern involved. This time, all of the townspeople were present in the monastery's nave, watching in awe, as Sam hit the glorious Third Note. People cried out in pure joy as the sound grew to a glorious crescendo. Words cannot do justice to the experience. The town flourished, as Sam's notes made the people pure all the way to the core of their beings.

And on it went for the next few years, the Magical Notes growing sweeter and sweeter... until, that is, Sam's 25th birthday. All at first seemed as normal... until Sam hit the Magical Note. From the start, Sam seemed very uncomfortable, and this new sound was not beautiful... it was jarring and discordant. Sam started to get very warm, and was visibly sweating onstage. He doubled his resolve and dug deeper, to get to the sweet part of the Magical Note that he knew must be there.

Suddenly, to the horror of all, Sam spontaneously combusted! The two closest monks on stage were burned by the flames coming off of his body, and he ignited the stage curtains. Soon the entire monastery was aflame. By a miracle, everyone made it out, except for poor Sam.

The townsfolk were left staring at the burning monastery in sad, stunned disbelief.

The mayor approached the lead monk of the order. "What happened?" he asked, exasperated.

The old monk shook his head sadly. "Isn't it obvious?" he said. "Sam sung Note 7."

4 minutes ago, Mitas said:

Once upon a time, in the magical fantasy kingdom, there lived a young monk named Sam.

His order was renowned for their beautiful choral singing. They trained, hours every day, refining their voices and their art. Their song floated down the mountainside, enriching the lives and souls of the townspeople below.

Sam was particularly gifted, and on his 19th birthday, in mid-song, he hit upon a beautifully intricate note of pure magic. Everyone within miles just froze in mid action, stirred to the very core of their souls by the pure bliss of the tone. And all the realm realized, instantly, that it was Sam, and Sam was the first person in history to hit one of the rumored Magical Notes that musicians had theorized must exist... yet no one before Sam had ever reached one.

And on Sam's 20th birthday, it happened again. This time, the town below was so impacted that no one moved, spoke, or even blinked for several minutes after. As the golden sound finally tapered off and ceased, they knew that Sam had found the Second Note...

And the next year on Sam's birthday, the town had realized there was a pattern involved. This time, all of the townspeople were present in the monastery's nave, watching in awe, as Sam hit the glorious Third Note. People cried out in pure joy as the sound grew to a glorious crescendo. Words cannot do justice to the experience. The town flourished, as Sam's notes made the people pure all the way to the core of their beings.

And on it went for the next few years, the Magical Notes growing sweeter and sweeter... until, that is, Sam's 25th birthday. All at first seemed as normal... until Sam hit the Magical Note. From the start, Sam seemed very uncomfortable, and this new sound was not beautiful... it was jarring and discordant. Sam started to get very warm, and was visibly sweating onstage. He doubled his resolve and dug deeper, to get to the sweet part of the Magical Note that he knew must be there.

Suddenly, to the horror of all, Sam spontaneously combusted! The two closest monks on stage were burned by the flames coming off of his body, and he ignited the stage curtains. Soon the entire monastery was aflame. By a miracle, everyone made it out, except for poor Sam.

The townsfolk were left staring at the burning monastery in sad, stunned disbelief.

The mayor approached the lead monk of the order. "What happened?" he asked, exasperated.

The old monk shook his head sadly. "Isn't it obvious?" he said. "Sam sung Note 7."

Was the hole point of this joke to copy the first persons joke? Lol this was literally the first joke someone posted to this giveaway 

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