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Klepto

By Klepto
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Klepto
Klepto

It's been a while since I've done one of these.    The rules are simple; - One joke per post (anything too long I'll skip over it) - Jokes can be dark, but keep the profanity to a

Fortunatusprinz
Fortunatusprinz

LONG TIME AGO, PEOPLE WHO SACRIFICE THEIR SLEEP, THEIR FAMILY, FOOD, LAUGHTER, AND OTHER JOYS OF LIFE WERE CALLED "SAINTS" BUT NOW, THEY ARE CALLED "HACKER"

Skitzy16
Skitzy16

I'd tell u a real funny joke... But i don't think u could hack it!!

BlackKiller Newbie

BlackKiller 0

Posted
Posted
  • Hey wanna hear a dirty joke. Someone fell in the mud.                        Please choose me
  • wanna hear a clean joke. They had a shower

 

  • Monkey Student: Hey Mrs Jeff do you have any pets.
  • Teacher says in a high pitch: I have 24 pets. THEY ALL DIED .                                                               THESE ARE SIMPLE

Next day

Breaking news Mrs Jeff has murder... Does this say teachers pet? She has murdered her teacher pet. Monkey Poo?

And also 23 hamsters.... f**k life ??          And that's how the Internet is broken of memes. "MUM THE WIFI IS BROKEN! FROM MEMES!"

TheArmKing Rookie

TheArmKing 60.1k

Posted
Posted

i am so good at sleeping i can do it with my eyes closed 

Also , i never get pocket money from my parents ... 

Yesterday a thief broke in looking for money in da house so i started searching with him

 

A blonde enters a library and shouts "can i have a cheesy burger + fries please" and the librarian tells her that its a library . the she whispers " can i have a cheesy burger + fries please"

10 minutes ago, Doesthismatter said:

What is the difference between Snowman and Snowwoman?

Snowballs

straight from the internet i see xD

Bummibaer Newbie

Bummibaer 227

Posted
Posted

So, a bear walks into a pub and sits down at the bar. The bartender asks: "What'll it be, pal?" and the bear answers: "Gin..."
The bartender pours him a glas of gin when the bear says "... and tonic". Slightly confused the bartender asks: "What's with the big pause?"
The bear, putting his front legs on the bar, answers thoughtfully while looking on them: "I don't know man, my dad had them too."

GodZ69420 Rookie

GodZ69420 1.2k

Posted
Posted (edited)

[Sorry my english is bad]

Director: What is your name, my son?
Student: D-de-de-Dev-Dev-Devid, sir.
Director: Oh, are you stumble?
Student: No, sir. My dad was stumble. However, the first person to register my name was moron.

Updated by SgT.KinG
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  • Our picks

    • War Inc: Guard v2.1.9 +2 Jailed Cheats [ One-Hit Kill ]

      War Inc: Guard v2.1.9 +2 Jailed Cheats [ One-Hit Kill ]

      Puddin posted a topic in Free Non-Jailbroken IPA Cheats,

      Modded/Hacked App: War Inc: Guard By SamShui Corporation
      Bundle ID: com.i89trillion.strategy.guard
      App Store Link: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/war-inc-guard/id6747061394?uo=4

       
       

      🤩 Hack Features

      - One-Hit Kill
      - Attack Speed
      • 3 replies
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    • War Inc: Guard v2.1.9 +2 Cheats [ One-Hit Kill ]

      War Inc: Guard v2.1.9 +2 Cheats [ One-Hit Kill ]

      Puddin posted a topic in Free Jailbreak Cheats,

      Modded/Hacked App: War Inc: Guard By SamShui Corporation
      Bundle ID: com.i89trillion.strategy.guard
      App Store Link: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/war-inc-guard/id6747061394?uo=4

       


      🤩 Hack Features

      - One-Hit Kill
      - Attack Speed
      • 3 replies
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    • Hungry Shark World v7.0.3 [ +9 Cheats ] Currency Max

      Hungry Shark World v7.0.3 [ +9 Cheats ] Currency Max

      Ik_Ik posted a topic in Free Jailbreak Cheats,

      Modded/Hacked App: Hungry Shark World By Ubisoft
      Bundle ID: com.ubisoft.hungrysharkworld
      iTunes Store Link: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/hungry-shark-world/id1046846443?uo=4


      Hack Features:
      - ADS NO

      - Gems

      - Coins 

      - Pearls 

      - Premium Pass

      - Health Auto Drain [ OFF ]

      - Boost Max 

      - Score Multi 

      - Revive Max 


      Non-Jailbroken & No Jailbreak required hack(s): https://iosgods.com/forum/79-no-jailbreak-section/
      Modded Android APK(s): https://iosgods.com/forum/68-android-section/
      For more fun, check out the Club(s): https://iosgods.com/clubs/
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    • Hungry Shark Evolution v12.9.2 [ +9 Cheats ] Never Die

      Hungry Shark Evolution v12.9.2 [ +9 Cheats ] Never Die

      Ik_Ik posted a topic in Free Jailbreak Cheats,

      Modded/Hacked App: Hungry Shark Evolution By Ubisoft
      Bundle ID: com.fgol.HungrySharkEvolution
      iTunes Store Link: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/hungry-shark-evolution/id535500008?uo=4



      Hack Features:

      - ADS NO

      - Gems Unlimited 

      - Coins Unlimited 

      - Health [ Auto Drain OFF ]

      - Booster Freeze 

      - Speed Hack 

      - Wall Break [ Only For Small Shark ]

      - Score Multi 

      - Invincible [ After Respawn ] Never Die
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    • Alien Survivor: Survival Arena v1.41.0 [ +7 Cheats ] Currency Max

      Alien Survivor: Survival Arena v1.41.0 [ +7 Cheats ] Currency Max

      Ik_Ik posted a topic in Free Jailbreak Cheats,

      Modded/Hacked App: Alien Survivor: Survival Arena By IMPONILOX LIMITED
      Bundle ID: world.playme.x
      iTunes Store Link: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/alien-survivor-survival-arena/id1669761844?uo=4
       

      🚀 Hack Features

      - ADS NO [ Rewards Free ]

      - Gems [ Achievements Rewards Only One Get ]

      - Energy [ Just Buy ]

      - HP [ Just Equip & Unequip ]

      - ATK [ Just Equip & Unequip ]

      - DEF [ Just Equip & Unequip ]

      - Skill CD [ First Get Then Use ]


      🍏 For Non-Jailbroken & No Jailbreak required hacks: https://iosgods.com/forum/79-no-jailbreak-section/
      🤖 Modded Android APK(s): https://iosgods.com/forum/68-android-section/
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    • Alien Survivor: Survival Arena v1.41.0 [ +7 Jailed ] Currency Max

      Alien Survivor: Survival Arena v1.41.0 [ +7 Jailed ] Currency Max

      Ik_Ik posted a topic in Free Non-Jailbroken IPA Cheats,

      Modded/Hacked App: Alien Survivor: Survival Arena By IMPONILOX LIMITED
      Bundle ID: world.playme.x
      iTunes Store Link: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/alien-survivor-survival-arena/id1669761844?uo=4


      🚀 Hack Features

      - ADS NO [ Rewards Free ]

      - Gems [ Achievements Rewards Only One Get ]

      - Energy [ Just Buy ]

      - HP [ Just Equip & Unequip ]

      - ATK [ Just Equip & Unequip ]

      - DEF [ Just Equip & Unequip ]

      - Skill CD [ First Get Then Use ]


      🍏 Jailbreak iOS hacks: https://iosgods.com/forum/5-game-cheats-hack-requests/
      🤖 Modded Android APKs: https://iosgods.com/forum/68-android-section/
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    • Dice Dreams™ V1.94.3 [ +9 Cheats ] Currency Max

      Dice Dreams™ V1.94.3 [ +9 Cheats ] Currency Max

      Ik_Ik posted a topic in ViP Cheats,

      Modded/Hacked App: Dice Dreams™ By SuperPlay LTD
      Bundle ID: com.superplaystudios.dicedreams
      iTunes Store Link: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/dice-dreams/id1484468651?uo=4


      Hack Features:
      - Coins Max [ Disable Coins When Use Bet Multiplier ]

      - Rolls Unlimited 

      - Crowns [ Only For Card Upgrade ]

      - Shield [ Get Unlimited Rolls ]

      - Bet Multiplier [ Coins + Rewards ]

      - All Task Score + Rewards [ Linked Bet Multiplier ]

      - Next Kingdom [ Build One ]

      - Build Cost [ 0 ]

      - Premium Dreams Pass

      Warning:- Don't Blame Me Banned  Some Time Freeze Reopen Then Works


      Non-Jailbroken & No Jailbreak required hack(s): https://iosgods.com/forum/79-no-jailbreak-section/
      Modded Android APK(s): https://iosgods.com/forum/68-android-section/
      For more fun, check out the Club(s): https://iosgods.com/clubs/
        • Agree
      • 94 replies
      Ik_Ik

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    • Dice Dreams™ V1.94.3 [ +9 Jailed ] Currency Max

      Dice Dreams™ V1.94.3 [ +9 Jailed ] Currency Max

      Ik_Ik posted a topic in ViP Non-Jailbroken Hacks & Cheats,

      Modded/Hacked App: Dice Dreams™ By SuperPlay LTD
      Bundle ID: com.superplaystudios.dicedreams
      iTunes Store Link: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/dice-dreams/id1484468651?uo=4


      Hack Features:

      - Coins Max [ Disable Coins When Use Bet Multiplier ]

      - Rolls Unlimited 

      - Crowns [ Only For Card Upgrade ]

      - Shield [ Get Unlimited Rolls ]

      - Bet Multiplier [ Coins + Rewards ]

      - All Task Score + Rewards [ Linked Bet Multiplier ]

      - Next Kingdom [ Build One ]

      - Build Cost [ 0 ]

      - Premium Dreams Pass

      Warning:- Don't Blame Me Banned  Some Time Freeze Reopen Then Works

       
      Jailbreak required hack(s): https://iosgods.com/forum/5-game-cheats-hack-requests/
      Modded Android APK(s): https://iosgods.com/forum/68-android-section/
      For more fun, check out the Club(s): https://iosgods.com/clubs/
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    • Soul Knight Prequel v1.7.0 [+3 Cheats]

      Soul Knight Prequel v1.7.0 [+3 Cheats]

      Cashlaz  posted a topic in ViP Cheats,

      Modded/Hacked App: Soul Knight Prequel By ChillyRoom Inc.
      Bundle ID: com.chillyroom.soulknightprequel.gl
      App Store Link: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/soul-knight-prequel/id6469258709?uo=4

       

      🤩 Hack Features

      - Damage Multiplier
      - Defense Multiplier
      - No Skill Cooldown
       
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    • Soul Knight Prequel v1.7.0 [+3 Jailed Cheats]

      Soul Knight Prequel v1.7.0 [+3 Jailed Cheats]

      Cashlaz  posted a topic in ViP Non-Jailbroken Hacks & Cheats,

      Modded/Hacked App: Soul Knight Prequel By ChillyRoom Inc.
      Bundle ID: com.chillyroom.soulknightprequel.gl
      App Store Link: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/soul-knight-prequel/id6469258709?uo=4

       

      🤩 Hack Features

      - Damage Multiplier
      - Defense Multiplier
      - No Skill Cooldown
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    • Bud Farm: Munchie Match v1.56.5 +12 [Game Breaking]

      Bud Farm: Munchie Match v1.56.5 +12 [Game Breaking]

      Parxdy  posted a topic in ViP Non-Jailbroken Hacks & Cheats,

      Modded/Hacked App: Bud Farm: Munchie Match By LDRLY (Technologies) Inc
      Bundle ID: com.LDRLY.budmatch
      iTunes Store Link: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/bud-farm-munchie-match/id1594712929?uo=4


      Mod Requirements:
      - Non-Jailbroken/Jailed or Jailbroken iPhone/iPad/iPod Touch.
      - Sideloadly / Cydia Impactor or alternatives.
      - A Computer Running Windows/macOS/Linux with iTunes installed.


      Hack Features:
      - No Ads
      - Win Level (Settings > Music Toggle)
      - Freeze Lives
      - Infinite Coins
      - Infinite Cash
      - Freeze Moves
      - Freeze Powerups
      - Infinite Boosters
      - Infinite Stars
      - Always Win if Lost
      - Reward Always Available


      Jailbreak required hack(s): https://iosgods.com/forum/5-game-cheats-hack-requests/
      Modded Android APK(s): https://iosgods.com/forum/68-android-section/
      For more fun, check out the Club(s): https://iosgods.com/clubs/


      • 78 replies
      Parxdy

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      Parxdy ,
    • Bud Farm: Munchie Match v1.56.5 +12 [Game Breaking]

      Bud Farm: Munchie Match v1.56.5 +12 [Game Breaking]

      Parxdy  posted a topic in ViP Cheats,

      Modded/Hacked App: Bud Farm: Munchie Match By LDRLY (Technologies) Inc
      Bundle ID: com.LDRLY.budmatch
      iTunes Store Link: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/bud-farm-munchie-match/id1594712929?uo=4


      Mod Requirements:
      - Jailbroken iPhone/iPad/iPod Touch.
      - iGameGod / Filza / iMazing or any other file managers for iOS.
      - Cydia Substrate, Substitute or libhooker depending on your jailbreak.
      - PreferenceLoader (from Cydia, Sileo or Zebra).


      Hack Features:
      - No Ads
      - Win Level
      - Freeze Lives
      - Infinite Coins
      - Infinite Cash
      - Freeze Moves
      - Freeze Powerups
      - Infinite Boosters
      - Infinite Stars
      - Always Win if Lost
      - Upgrade without Decorations
      - Reward Always Available


      Non-Jailbroken & No Jailbreak required hack(s): https://iosgods.com/forum/79-no-jailbreak-section/
      Modded Android APK(s): https://iosgods.com/forum/68-android-section/
      For more fun, check out the Club(s): https://iosgods.com/clubs/


        • Like
      • 77 replies
      Parxdy

      Picked By

      Parxdy ,
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