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[Ethen121 2.5k]

How many times do you have to tickle an octopus before it laughs? Ten-tickles 

[CTRL ALT DEFEET 59]

Knock Knock...

[IvanMunoz 45]

1 hour ago, CTRL ALT DEFEET said:

Knock Knock...

who's  there

[Erisu 847]

You look like a vacuum cleaner

[Doesthismatter 1.3k]

iosgods are not actually Gods !

[AlCapone123 835]

The only one i know:

There are two men in the desert. Both are dying of thirst. Suddenly, they see an oasis. At the point they wanted to jump into it, a guard appears and says: "In order to be able to swim here, each of you must fulfill two tasks!"

The two mens agree because they don't want to die.

The guard says: "The first thing every one of you have to do is to collect 100 fruits."

The two mens run for their life to search fruits. 

After 20 minutes, the first one comes back with 100 currants.

The Guardian says: "Now, plug them all individually in your as* without laughing."

Without hesitation, the men plugged the fruits in his butt. At the 99. , he starts to laugh very loud. The guard asks: "Why are you laughing? You had it almost done! "

The man replied, "Look, theother one is coming with water melons !"

[Bdeer 112]

wut !:!

[Jhonny 80]

What are the three quickest ways of spreading a rumour (or gossip).

• Telegram
• Telephone
• Tell a woman

Perhaps not very politically correct in the times we live in, but worth a slight chuckle. 

[Darky09 6]

Me: knock knock!

friend: whos there ?

Me : wood

friend wood who?

Me: what do you call a wood which is hard and soft at the same time? 

Friend: what?

Me: A morning wood ?

 

 

Oh wait I dont have a friend ??

[Flackboy 57]

Someone stole my mood ring...

I don't know how to feel about  that.