General My Trip to the Apple Store

February 18, 2015

I went into the Apple Store at around 7:15 PM. It was hot as hell in there, and there were a ton of people. It was terrible. Parts of the place smelled like B.O., but I did get to try out an iPad Air 2. At 7:30 PM, the time of my appointment, a genius came up to me to help me with my phone. Keep in mind that I was only hiding the jailbreak, so the phone was not a stock iOS. She opened up safari, and made a new tab to run the diagnostics app on my device. I was also about a foot and a half taller than she was, which added to the awkwardness.

She was looking around my phone, and I was getting really nervous. Like sweating nervous. On the diagnostics app that the geniuses use there is a section called "Unauthorized Apps". It said there was twenty one apps there, and one tap could have proved that my phone was jailbroken and they would not have helped me. She then started looking through my multitasking, and iFile, iGameGuardian, and Terminal were there. She stopped at Terminal, and now I was panicking, but she said to me, "I didn't know there was a Terminal for iPhone!" I just smiled at her, and she kept doing her thing.

She then checked for a software update, and as you all know, software updates won't work on a jailbroken phone. We waited around for two minutes and she says to me, "you know that software updates won't work on jailbroken iPhones, right?" I looked her right in the eye and said "I-I don't know, it just won't s-show up on my phone f-for some reason" She shrugged it off. I was shaking. I couldn't believe how I was getting away with this.

The last thing she did was check my cellular usage stats. Cydia had used about seventy megabytes of data, and it was the third one on the list. She squinted at it, and she asked, "what is this?" I said that it was a web app. A fake Cydia to trick my friends into thinking I had a jailbroken iPhone. She looked at me, and looked back at the phone, and she said she was done.

I had to restore, and I lost my jailbreak. I now only have my iPod touch fifth generation to hack with, and with the low RAM, I don't think I can hack any big games. My 5S had one gigabyte of RAM. An iPod touch fifth generation only has five hundred twelve megabytes of RAM. Maybe I could pull a "@Javi Tech", and hack something big with a device with hardly any RAM.

The lesson here is to not go into the Apple store with a jailbroken phone. Even when you try to hide your jailbreak, it will always show up somehow. I walked out of the store shaking and sweating. So guys, take my advice, and don't end up like I did, with a jailbreak lost and a stock iOS. This freaking sucks. Again, until an iOS 8.1.3 or an iOS 8.2 jailbreak comes out, don't expect any big hacks from me.

-@shmoo