Make Me Laugh, Win VIP. :)

[Klepto 7.8k]

It's been a while since I've done one of these. 

 

The rules are simple;

- One joke per post (anything too long I'll skip over it)

- Jokes can be dark, but keep the profanity to a minimum, and anything related to sexual abuse, or sexual in general, involving women and children in said context is extremely prohibited. Your post will be deleted.

- As many jokes as you'd like (in separate posts)

- And the most important one, gotta make me laugh.

 

The prize will be randomly selected with a number generator between 1-4.

1. ViP & Non-Jailbroken ViP + 3 Months

2. ViP - 1 Month

3. ViP - 2 Months

4. ViP - 3 Months

 

*****Winner was Jinco1*****

 

Hidden Content

Contest ends in 1 weeks time. July 5th 12 P.M. CT

 

Day 1 update: 0 have succeeded in making me laugh. Keep trying!

 

Winner will be posted this upcoming Sunday due to me not being home until then!

 

Every single joke was horrible. Due to this, whoever sees this first and PMs me, wins.

Updated July 10, 2017 by Klepto
Adjusted the rules.

[Lord Alucard 10.4k Donor]

DiDA has a life 

[xSm0ker 1k]

I'm not English , I Translate in English from Italian 

What is the longest word in the English language?

“Smiles”.

Because there is a mile between its first and last letters!

[Archangel04 33.2k]

BREAKING NEWS...

Just yesterday on Nat Geo Wild, it was announced that a very dangerous snake had just been discovered.

Scientists claim that the snake is an enhanced specie of the reptile family.

According to Nat Geo Wild, the snake increases 0.5 cm in length every time it feeds and it feeds every 30 seconds or less. This particular snake cannot be killed or harmed by weapon it dies only when it bites itself. Surprising huh?

Scientists claim that's the only way it can be killed but researches are still ongoing to discover new ways this snake can be killed.

This is the most poisonous and deadliest snake ever recorded in the history of man.

This snake can only be found in Nokia 3310 mobile phone under game option, Snake Xenzia. Thanks for carefully and patiently reading this through!

[Infamous-Ash 9k]

Kleptos Life .I think this is enough to win vip.

[Fortunatusprinz 7]

LONG TIME AGO, PEOPLE WHO SACRIFICE THEIR SLEEP, THEIR FAMILY, FOOD, LAUGHTER, AND OTHER JOYS OF LIFE WERE CALLED "SAINTS"

BUT NOW, THEY ARE CALLED "HACKER"

[Skitzy16 32]

I'd tell u a real funny joke... But i don't think u could hack it!!

[sycine 5]

Your future depends on your dreams.″ So go to sleep.

[K1R1T0 388]

ISIS: I have an army

Me: we have a linda 

[dmraka 3]

my life