Spotify 15 Premium Accounts Giveaway! [ENDED]

[Kkura_Epyc 1.2k]

 

Edit: you live in Malaysia, Singapore?

Meh?? Im in the Philippines

[jancerblut 15]

1. what did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

    HeHe

 

 

2. How many tickles does an octopus need to laugh?

    Tentacles!

 

 

3. How does NASA organize a party?

They planet!.

[ArronH 5.8k]

1. Did you hear about the guy who stole a calendar?

He got six months.

2. I think I want a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something that I can see myself doing.

3. Could you please call me a taxi?

You're a taxi.

4. What's Forrest Gump's password?

1Forest1.

5. What do you call a sleepwalking nun?

A roamin' catholic.

6. Why was six afraid of seven?

Because seven was a registered six offender.

 

7. A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says "Error, not long enough."

 

~I posted 7 in case the other 4 aren't good. I like posting extra ~

Updated May 20, 2015 by Arronh

[Shyriu1985 151]

There was a papa mole, a momma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse. Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!" Momma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!" Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. Baby mole said, "The only thing I smell is molasses."

 

????

[j0nny852 0]

1 A man is dating a girl named leraine,at the same time he is dating a girl named clearly. One day leraine died. At her funeral he sang a song,it went like this: "I can see clearly now leraine is gone.

[Exitoz 11]

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam?

I can't peanut butter my duck in your ass

 

Rofl ????

[Pugtricia 181]

What do you call a delaying Russian? Stalin.

[Sakswa 1.2k]

What does a cannibal call a crowd of people?

 

A buffet

 

 

What did the cannibal do after he ate his girlfriend?

 

He dumped her

 

[Garv 0]

#1:

Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: who just threw that?! Boy: Me! I’m going home now.

 

2#:

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, “Take only one. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”

 

3#:

An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years.

He wanted to plant potatoes but could not as he was old and weak.

 

His son lived in Paris, So he send a email.

He send explains the problem: "beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in the garden. I am sure, if only you were here, you would help me dig up this garden. Love you, Your Father."

 

The son replied: "Beloved Father, please don't touch the garden. It's there that I have hidden 'The THING'. I love you too, Ahmed.

 

Later that day US Army and CIA visit the old mans house. They search the garden every inch but failed to find anything. They leave in disappointment.

 

The next day, The old man received another email from his son. "Beloved Father, I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes. That's all I can do from here." Love Ahmed.

 

 

????????????????

#1:

Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: who just threw that?! Boy: Me! I’m going home now.

 

2#:

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, “Take only one. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”

 

3#:

An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years.

He wanted to plant potatoes but could not as he was old and weak.

 

His son lived in Paris, So he send a email.

He send explains the problem: "beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in the garden. I am sure, if only you were here, you would help me dig up this garden. Love you, Your Father."

 

The son replied: "Beloved Father, please don't touch the garden. It's there that I have hidden 'The THING'. I love you too, Ahmed.

 

Later that day US Army and CIA visit the old mans house. They search the garden every inch but failed to find anything. They leave in disappointment.

 

The next day, The old man received another email from his son. "Beloved Father, I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes. That's all I can do from here." Love Ahmed.

 

 

????????????????

[Ann3 2.9k]

"you"

 

-------

omg im so sorry.