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Posted (edited)

Billy has died,he went to heaven. There is a lady behind a desk with clocks behind her.

billy asked:"what are those clocks for?"

the lady answered:" each clock represent a person and each time the person lie his/her clock will move one second"

billy asked:" where's Donald trump's clock?

the lady answered:" it's in Jesus office he's using it as a fan"

Hope this isn't too Long

Updated by Kvn
Posted

This one's a classic: There are two hunters in the forest. One of them collapses, evidently having some kind of medical problem; he isn't breathing. The second hunter calls 911. "My friend is dying and we're in the woods!" he asks frantically. "What do I do?" The operator says, "First, you need to make sure he really is dead—"

There's a silence, then the sound of a gunshot rings out. "Okay, he's dead. Now what?"

?? 

 

A biker walks into a bar and sits down on a bar stool near the end of the bar.

He takes a look at the menu and it reads as follows:

Hamburger - 2.99

Cheeseburger - 3.99

Chicken Sandwich - 4.99

Hand Jobs - 19.99

The crusty old biker waves the bartender down, and up walks this tall, busty, beautiful redhead in her mid-twenties. She smiles at the biker coyly, and he asks in a quiet voice "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" The bartender blushes slightly and says "Yes, I am" with a sexy little smile.

The biker grins and says "Well wash your hands, because I want a cheeseburger."

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