Make Me Laugh, Win VIP. :)

[Elad8021 10]

This is pretty long and hard I might add because I'm translating from Hebrew to English 

One day a man noticed his cow was crossing eyes, so he called a veterinarian to see what's wrong with the cow.

the veterinarian arrived, saw the cow and he knew what to do immediately, he took a straw and stuck it in the cows ass, he blew in the straw and the cow was no longer crossing eyes.

after a day or two the man noticed his cow is crossing eyes again and this time he didn't want to wait for the veterinarian, so he called his friend to help him, the man took a straw and stuck it in the cow's ass and blew in it and surprisingly the cow is still crossing eyes.

the man asked his friend to try, the friend comes to the straw and flips it over and then blows in it, the man is asking him what the hell are you doing? The friend said: "what? You thought I would use the side of the straw you used?"

Updated July 2, 2017 by Elad8021
Fixing a word

[Elad8021 10]

 

 

Updated July 2, 2017 by Elad8021
Pasting a post from Instagram didn't work

[Elad8021 10]

This is so true

[Elad8021 10]

 

[XxtyronexX 20]

can i wi..Bruhh

[Noob32 5.2k]

One man see the God, and he is said "God, how many one second is for you?" God said "1 million years" then that man said "God, how many one cent is for you?" God said "1 million dollars" then that man said "Can you give me that cent?" God answers "Ok, wait a second!" (Like if you get it)

[demonblood 12]

How many tickles does it take to make a octopus laugh

 

Ten tickles haha get it tentacles 

[MeAdityaB 119]

I am donald trump, I want peace. 

[ItzMeFlameyZ 0]

So this girl told me she saw her uncle hen she thought he was going to visit her in a month, I said, probs one of those uncles that tells you they got a nice black van. Wink ? 

[Elad8021 10]

I once worked at cleaning houses and I wont lie I was tempted to steal

but the bible says "Thou shalt not steal" but no where does it say "no shall not swap"

I took a stereo and left a walkman.

took a credit card left a bussines card.

*Credits for Daliso Chaponda from America's got talent