Make Me Laugh, Win VIP. :)

[CrazyBoyandLoraUK 76]

Updated July 3, 2017 by CrazyBoyandLoraUK

[RiseOfCrystal 0]

a man enter in a coffe splash

[Xcon07 1.7k]

Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower?

A: The Bride and all of her guests

Police Officer: You are under arrest sir anything you say can and will be used against you.

Arrested Person: BOOBS!

[xjesterx 3]

A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughter's bedroom. 

When she opened the door she found her daughter naked on the bed with a vibrator. 

What are you doing?" she exclaimed. 

The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband."

Later that week the father was in the kitchen and heard a humming sound coming from the basement. 
When he went downstairs, he found his daughter naked on the sofa with her vibrator. 

"What are you doing?" he exclaimed.

The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband."

A couple of days later the mother heard the humming sound again, this time in the living room. 
In there, she found her husband watching the Super Bowl on television with the vibrator buzzing away beside him.

"What are you doing?" she exclaimed. 

He replied............"Watching the game with my son-in-law.

[Logan 9]

I was gonna make a joke about chicken, but it was foul.

[Thebensik 2]

I wanna make bank bro! I wanna get ass. I wanna drive a Range Rover...it's the f**kingCatalina wine mixer.

sorry for the language. I know it's not a joke but it's funny. 

Updated July 4, 2017 by Thebensik

[exyrex 45]

whats the difference between a mexican and a book?

the book has papers!

[sengreto 35]

Why would you do this to me

[CrazyBoyandLoraUK 76]

[Aktout 0]

Given your name...

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally

...eh?