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Posted (edited)

I wrote this to explain why are you in a forest and what/who are the deformed for the upcoming iOS game "The Wild"

 

      It started like an other day... with me going to work; I recently bought the new chipyoda vehicle. The paint on the car was crimson with the completing color of black on the hood. I was stopped with my charming wife's voice. Hey bobo, you forgot to get your phone. Oh, thanks sugarplum we kissed. In that brief moment it seemed that time had stopped; I felt my blood cells moving throughout my body. She hugged me tightly with her soft hands. The moment...no the dream I felt in that moment concluded when my chest sensed her torso trembling a bit. I asked if something happened. She replied to me that everything was alright. Ok, I'm going now. We both drive off in our on cars. My wife was a professional climber. She beat the record of climbing Mount Everest last month eight hours 3 minutes and 49 seconds, without breaking a sweat.She didn't fear what obstacles that got she had to surpass, like how may died trying to do the same thing, or the temperature, not even the dangerous bests that lurk around the path she was taking. Not one bit of her was scared. The thoughts worried me. My conscience played these thoughts around my head. I decided to listen to it; The car wheels screeched as I drifted to go to my wife's job. Passing miller street my speed 30 miles per hour, after a few blocks, the speed 40 miles per hour, and going up the highway my speed was 60 miles per. Even though I was about top speed, my conscience told me to go faster. When I reached my destination I went 120 miles per hour, passed 18 red light and 5 stops signs. After my wife got home from the trip we got married and she even obtained a job working at a nearby laboratory as a scientist. The building was enormous it had two giant chimney and the building's height was about 15 floors up. I went right through the front door. The room looked like it was abandoned. There was dust and cobwebs everywhere. No one except the redhead girl I asked the reception area to see my wife. Responding in an impolite way; what your business here? Well madam, I need to got to my wife she left something at home. I'm sorry, but you do not have permission to enter there. Then God or was it the Devil that made the phone ring. The redhead went to pick up the phone. Once she did, I could tell in her face which turned whiter than snow that she regretted answering. Never the less I seize the opportunity and go inside. When I walked inside Walking in I looked around. The walls were made of concrete, covered by metal. The bottom half was black and the upper half was white. The floor were made of marble. It had been design with a checker pattern in mind. There was a map that they had on the wall. Next to it was an elevator; it had buttons with different sections. I clicked on section C due overhearing a conversation my wife had with someone on the phone it. The elevator descended downwards. As soon as the door opens the sound of the running guards interrupted me. My legs and arms acted before any brain signals were received. Before my mind had any clue realization, my body hid itself the nearest room. Once the sound of patrol men running vanquished. I turned on the lights. The room was filled with machinery and clothing. Walking towards the apricot colored cart. I found a silver lab coat. I scavaged around in search off an ID. Just when I thought my luck ran out, in the deepest corner of my eye the something was reflecting light. I walk towards the object under the teal laundry cart. Surprised I had found a ID card withe the name Robertson Mathews. Right after leaving the laundry room, a scientist halted and questioned me if I was new here. In a sturtling response I told him, yes. Oh... its your first day in the job, well let me show you around the facility, my name is professor Kenway. After an hour and a half had passed of constant words bombarding me and showing me some of the experiments, he had finished and ask where was I heading. I told him what I overheard. He told me to follow him into his office. So I did. When we reached his office all of the walls was made of glass; it was surrounded by many other offices. The wall in back of his oak wood desk had the CIA emblem on it. Except this one was a bit different. He says, you like it. The glass is bulletproof just like the ones we're using to observe the experiments. Here's the note to...as he was about to pass me a note a loud noise appeared out of the blue; following it was an earthquake, or at least I thought it was. The buildings lights went off for a second and the red emergency backup lights turned on. Leaving with a pistol, he sayed to stay there. However I was focused on my wifes well health more than mine so I disobeyed the command and left a few second after him. I almost lost him when he made a turn into the hallway that was right next to project-S. When I ask him what was the project about. The chatty professor was as silent as a catacomb. Just when I was about to turn and continue to follow him a creature ambushed him. Concealed behind the corner I hear his voice screaming for help. Begging for his life to be spared. I also heard the animal loudly chewing. Augh , augh, achooo!!! The thing heard my sneeze and his footsteps echoed louder and louder as it was coming towards my direction. Clamp, clamp, clamp was the noise its foot made when it touched the floor. My heart was pounding so hard that it felt it was going to rip open my chest and run. Gunfire was shoot the in the opposite direction that I was at. Something screeched so loud it broke the glass in front of me. It started running for the one who shot. After a couple of minutes passed by I take a peak. What I had seen can never be unseen again. The scientist half eaten, you can see the intestines and a pool of blood popping out of his stomach. Puking up even more blood he attempted to say in a soft and weak voice the camera...truth. The scientist struggling to points at the camera and his soul had departed from Earth. I heard scream near project-S, followed up by an explosion. I came towards the screaming. Lost in this inferno hell maze I was able to locate screaming. When I turned down to the hallway and saw in front of me were creatures that shouldn't exist. These creature looked deformed human. It eating up leftover human parts of the staff. I was about to vomit upon seeing this horrific scenery until I noticed someone across the other side of the hallway. It was my wife. She screamed out loud with tears running down her face, I'M SORRY, SO, SO SORRY!!! and ran. That's the last time I ever saw her again. I ate my puke and ran back the way I came. When I was about to pass by the dead scientist I saw that he was alive. His skin turned pale and started to rot, but he came crawling towards me. I jumped over him and lock myself in the guards/surveillance room and played the recording on the camera. Turns out that this building were experimenting on human beings for months. Bam! Bam! Ruuugh! I grabbed the Python on the guards desk and aimed it towards the only way out. Then I noticed the big air vent on the ceiling and escaped the building through there. I ran into the car and drove to town. When arrived everything was in chaos. Cars flipped down, blood was splattered everywhere and human body parts spilled the city for miles; gunshots being fired; and screams filled the air. So I drove far... far away from the begging of this apocalyptic civilization. So where did I drive off to well... Let's just say I drove into "The Wild"

 

 

NOTE!!!(OPTIONAL) PLEASE COMMENT DOWN, WHAT CAN I CHANGE HERE TO MAKE IT BETTER

Updated by GGiosgod
Posted (edited)

"She beat the record of climbing Mount Everest last month eight hours 3 minutes and 49 seconds" I mean know this is fiction, but that's a bit too much (as in probably physically impossible which so are the zombies,but for it to be scary it also needs to at least remind of reality imo). I highly recommend changing this part a bit


"Passing miller street my speed 30 miles per hour, after a few blocks, the speed 40 miles per hour, and going up the highway my speed was 60 miles per. Even though I was about top speed, my conscience told me to go faster. When I reached my destination I went 120 miles per hour, passed 18 red light and 5 stops signs." unnecessary, too much detail. Try to mention things like this ( "30 miles; an hour and 28 minutes; 19 cars") as little as you can if they don't play a big role in the story/are not that important also try not to be repetitive.

 

 

It's hard to understand where is a conversation happening so you could just use quotes or such to mark where is starts and stops,.

 

Also THIS: "I ate my puke and ran back the way I came." What.. did you just.. do? Please fix that hahah

 

"Bam! Bam! Ruuugh!" unnecessary

 

Grammar mistakes & incorrect tenses in some places.

 

[You don't have to change anything if you don't want to that's just how I personally would see it as huge improvement]

 

The story itself is quite scary and I didn't read it fully cause I don't enjoy that type of stuff, but you managed to make it disturbing and that's a really important part in making horror type of stuff, so - great job! hahah

Updated by esoy

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